|
| I have internet now but no computer.
Bah.
| | |
| Strange things happen to me everyday and I cannot explain them. I simply do not understand. Example. I have been hearing this one song now for the past one or two months pretty much everyday; at work when I listen to coast to coast it seems to play every time. The song has been in my head when I wake up and comes again throughout the day. Not a whole lot but its recognizable when it comes. The song is called "I'd love to change the world", its an oldie from 67' or so. And the radio jockey never says who does the song. --A few days ago my friend at work, hes 50 some years of age, grew up during the peace freedom hippie days in the late 60's, hes from California. Every once in a while he will tell me of a band he grew up on and recommend them to me, id listen to um, good stuff okay. Last week he said " Hey Matt have you ever heard of 10 years after?" Nah never heard of um I said. Didn't think much of it afterwards, just the same ol' jazz ya know. Well tonight im looking up Ten years after on the net and an epiphany happened to me, it was that band. Now im thinking is he channeling something to me, some electro static intuition? Is it a destiny type of thing, gee I do not know. Vocabulary does not do this experience justice. I do not know a name for such an experience. Theophany? fuck I don't know.
This does not make sense. Should it? -- maybe my work pal has been hearing the same song as I have been hearing throughout these last few months. Is it that mysterious God? True coincidence's are always unexplainable. I'm having that thing again where I cant type fast enough the sentences that are going through my mind.
Like dreams, the past month or so I have had a lot of spare time by myself alone, so I spoil it or not spoil it, by sleeping hours upon hours and I have been transcendental meditating for twenty minutes a couple times everyday. I try to keep a habit of writing about my dreams right away when I wake up but it usually, mostly, turns out to be a clusterfuck of nothings and sentences that don't add up.
Oh I should type this weird experience. I don't remember writing it, well one second of the vision I do, I think it makes sense though.
Nature eats itself, I eat nature, nature eats me.
This also,
Life is a hot car, death is a cold pillow.
I gotta run.
| | |
| its so fucking cold in here right now
I have my heat blanket set to ten and my small heater on full blast
fuck still brrrr!
got the shakes!
ahhh
| | |
| The Somewhat Clear Memories- A few words that sum up my birthday weekend
Free mexican village steak and enchiladas, margarita, movies, 12 pack of Stella Artois, the movie It's Pat, nap, awake, homie g's, What Just Happened deniro, quarter of Futurama movie, smoke, cab ride, tavern, 40 oz PBR, free shots, booger sugar, shitty live bands, giggidy gooing with drunk skirt wearing mamas, free shots, partying with rad folk, limousine, after party with known and random drunk people, beer, wine, smoke, strobe lights, Thriller music video, insane drunk girl in fight with reagan, choking and biting, kicking out stupid insane drunk girl, the first Robocop, nap on couch, awake, smoke, movies, show at hick sports bar, true stories from nurse about wife+ drunk husband= broken pencil in urethra with splinters, story about bottle in gay mans ass that the doctor couldn't take out-- without taking his intestines with-- ending up breaking bottle and taking individual shards of glass out of anus, backstage keg beer, five bands, playing last in front of 60+ nutty drunk hicks, getting asked to stop playing after seven songs, rebellious fuck you's at dick bartender, playing four more songs, after party with thirty year old married people, naughty ice, clash, milf heat, limousine, blue 100, strip club, tits pussy and ass, fucking with strippers, limousine, smoke, blue 100, dirty true incest stories from driver, st cloud, drunk roommate comes back after nearly freezing to death and falls down stairs twice, laughter-gut hold, metal, sleep, awake, Jingle All The Way schwarzenegger, parents, Timber Lodge Steakhouse, 7 once steak and stuffed bacon potato and salad, c~u next time, water, Heavyweights, nap, work, and now.
| | |
| Oh, such a long miserable week-- and its only Wednesday! [...] Few days ago, I got word my aunt and uncle barely made it out of their burning house, their vitality unknown to me. Yet my own imagination makes the most of it in the most horrific of ways. That image of the two house fires I witnessed while in my young teens all comes back, the smell, the horror, the pain I saw in the neighbors eyes. Yesterday, I discovered that a friend from high school died of suicide earlier this month. Adding to this week more trauma of memories of the several others I knew that went out the same way. The past twenty four hours all I have wanted to do is sleep underneath my own covers. And what awful dreams I have been having, waking up in cold sweat, wet blanket and pillow. The most tremulous of sleep. I miss my parents. In two days, the 27th, I will be the oldest I have ever been, --my 22nd birthday. I only wish this depression is miles away by then. I have seen it fall onto the ones I care for-- and hate it so. This Saturday I can have such an outlet to release these dreadful disgusting emotions at the show in Rice. This Sunday my parents are coming to visit, I cannot wait.
| | |
|
